Take a Brake: 14 Ways of Saying "No"
In the face of a pandemic, we learned the invaluable skill of asking for what we need. But, as the world opens-up, can we retain the same boldness? For those who could use help saying “no”, here are scripts for politely declining opportunities that don’t align with your immediate goals.
Words: SARAH MAGIDOFF
A few weeks ago, I asked you to reflect upon the constraints of the pandemic, and what they taught you about healthier practices in the workplace. Today, I’d like to offer some ideas for maintaining boundaries around your new practices.
As we communally faced a spreading virus last year, we learned the invaluable skill of asking for what we need in order to stay safe and healthy. In like kind, we readily accepted and accommodated the needs of others. The global shared experience empowered us to be bold when defining our needs. But as restrictions lift, and opportunities increase, can we retain the same boldness? Can we resist the pressure to say “yes” to opportunities that don’t align with our immediate goals? Or to things in our power to give, but that fall outside our personal boundaries or preferences? For those of you, like myself, who could use help saying “no”, I’ve crafted 14 Ways of Saying “No”. They can be used personally and professionally. Modify them as you see fit.
For politely declining opportunities, IN-FULL -
SCRIPT #1: THE FULLY BOOKED
“Thank you for thinking of me, (fill in the blank) sounds amazing! Unfortunately, I’m fully booked right now.”
SCRIPT #2: THE MAYBE LATER
“I’m focusing on (fill in the blank) right now, but can we circle back to this come (fill in the date)?”
SCRIPT #3: THE PASS-ON
“I’m focusing on (fill in the blank) right now, but my friend (fill in the name) would do a great job. Let me connect you two!”
SCRIPT #4: THE HARD PASS
“I’m focusing on (fill in the blank) right now, but thanks for thinking of me!”
SCRIPT #5: THE OTHER OPTION
“I’m focusing on (fill in the blank) right now, but I’d be happy to support you by (fill in the blank).”
SCRIPT #6: THE FOLLOW ALONG
“I’m focusing on (fill in the blank) right now, but I’ll be following your launch on Instagram!”
PRO TIP: Communicate why you cannot accept the opportunity by mentioning what you’re choosing to focus-on in this season, and extend your best wishes.
For accepting opportunities, but keeping them SHORT AND SWEET -
SCRIPT #7: THE KEEP IT SHORT
“I’ve got a lot on my plate today. Can we keep this chat to 30-minutes?”
SCRIPT #8: THE LOCATION CHANGE
“I know we scheduled an in-person meeting, but I’m running behind today. Could we meet online instead?”
SCRIPT #9: THE HOP-OFF
“I’ll be able to join for 15-minutes while we discuss issues specific to (fill in the blank), then I need to hop-off.”
PRO TIP: Share why the activity must be cut short (ex. “I’m running behind today”) and be specific about your availability (ex. “I have 15-minutes to talk”).
For politely declining opportunities, FOR PERSONAL REASONS -
SCRIPT #10: THE ALREADY SCHEDULED
“I’ve already got something on the schedule, enjoy!”
SCRIPT #11: THE MAYBE NEXT TIME
“I have to sit this one out. Count me in for next time!”
SCRIPT #12: THE SIT-OUT
“I could use some down time tonight. Have fun!”
SCRIPT #13: THE PARTNERSHIP
“I’d like to spend some time with my partner tonight. Have fun!”
SCRIPT #14: THE TO-DO LIST
“I’ve got some things I’d like to take care of at home tonight. Have fun!”
PRO TIP: A wise therapist once told me that it’s okay to say you’re busy, even when there’s nothing scheduled. You’re busy spending time with yourself! You owe no one an explanation, so simply be kind and firm with your “no”.
